omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
