It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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