I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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