i just wanna soil my oats bro
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
