Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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