i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
