Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize