You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
All I want is dick and wine.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
