Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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