Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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