Sponge bath it is.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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