I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
