I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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