We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
