I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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