sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
