well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize