she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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