How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize