Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize