Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
