this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize