That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize