fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
