We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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