Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
