I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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