remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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