He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
