8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
