i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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