Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I touched a dick in church today
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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