I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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