i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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