I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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