i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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