I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
