Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
