Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
