one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
