oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
