Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
