I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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