I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
