He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
