you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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