So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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