How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
