why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
