He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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