If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
