I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
