Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
