I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
