No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
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