So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
