which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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