im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
