I will die if light touches me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize