Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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