I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
