I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
