I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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