Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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