I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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