she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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