i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
