How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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