That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
