You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
