no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
