me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
