My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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