i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
