Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
