Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize