Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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