So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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