I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
